in PE we had to write assertive responses to pressuring statements when you don’t want to have sex with somebody and
in grade 8 i did a power point presentation on “whooping cough” and my opening slide was a photo of whoopi goldberg coughing and i was the only person who laughed at it and i couldnt start the presentation for like five minutes because i was laughing too hard at my own joke
i asked my italian grandfather if the rough parts of italy were called the spaghetto and look at me w/ so much shame
- Friend: What's your type?
- Me: Famous or fictional.
i was at the bus stop with my sister the other day and for no apparent reason, she says: ‘dude, there are more dead people in the world than living people’ and the woman standing beside me whispered ‘holy shit’ and i fucking lost it
i can almost hear yahoo regretting their investment
I love those people you can joke around with and have so much fun with and then have a deep conversation with and it’s not weird at all
if somebody invented a shirt with a giant pocket in the front they would be millionaires because who wouldnt want to feel like a kangaroo